Day 20: No fear

After six years of Bikram, yesterday and today I am finally gently and firmly rubbing out my fear in the Half Moon backbend, the first backbend of the series. Finally. Even though I've been practicing Camel well for a long time, I was just really stuck in the Half Moon backbend, and now it feels great to just relish the pose and play with my edge.

As usual on Tuesday, I practiced at Fremont, or as I call it, the House of Drinky Lazy McFidget! Don't get me wrong, I really like the instructor, but I think he owes it to his regulars to crack down. Far be it from me to get my yoga shorts in a bunch, but seriously. You do not need that much water, you especially don't need it after two full minutes of savasana, fidgeting with your mat and your costume saps your energy and affects the group energy, and when you wipe the sweat away, it comes back. Learning to practice with the sweat, and with a sweaty grip, is part of the practice. When I saw this woman wiping her ankles before Standing Bow Pulling, my lazy cheaty mind went "aha! I could do that!" and I thought "damn you woman for putting that thought into my head!" It took me a long time to figure out that being still, and just breathing calmly renews your energy much better than a gulp of water or a shake of the head and look at the floor. Sounds crazy, but it's true. Just breathe. Just still. As Audrey would say. The other thing I don't like about all this water, bad habits, and fidgeting is that it makes me sound like a holier-than-thou yoga biotch in my head. And on my blog. As you are fast realizing.

I'm off to lead my Buddhist meditation class. Never done this before. Wish me luck! I leave you with this inspiring passage from the wall at Fremont:

Be soft in your practice. Think of the method as a fine silvery stream, not a raging waterfall. Follow the stream, have faith in its course. It will go its own way, meandering here, trickling there. It will find the grooves, the cracks, the crevices. Just follow it. Never let it out of your sight. It will take you.

----Sheng-Yen