Disclaimer Plus Things the Nice Marmot Does NOT Like

[NOTE: It has come to our attention that several things the Nice Marmot thought it was OBVIOUS she liked were left off our last entry. (Yes, that's the Royal We in the previous sentence.) So the next entry will be a brief list of activities (and only activities!) that the Nice Marmot really likes. Some of these have already been discussed in this space, but in the name of completeness, the Marmot abides.]

The New York Yankees
Confrontation
Misspellings
Incorrect grammar
Incorrect punctuation
Poorly written text
Fallow real estate (ie, a piece of land or a storefront left idle for more than three weeks)
Hurting people’s feelings
Going on a trip and forgetting her pajamas
Barbecue sauce, especially when artificially distilled and used to flavor other foods, like “chips” and “nuts”
McDonald’s
Not knowing the answer to a question
Satellite-linked missile defense systems
Gory or violent bits in movies
When people don’t go to the dentist or the doctor for long periods
Croutons (when I was a kid, we fed stale bread to the ducks; we refrained from putting it on our salad)
Raw tomatoes, except when sliced thin and consumed in a sandwich, or maybe Roma or grape tomato varieties
How freaking fast she (herself) walked down the aisle at her wedding
Split pea soup
When she lacks energy
Wearing contact lenses
Stupid loud Americans in foreign countries
Being behind someone in line at a store who is verbally abusing the clerk
Twinkies, Ho Hos, Ding Dongs, poofy pies, Donette Gems, or any other Hostess or prepackaged “bakery” product
Having to ask a coworker to move his/her car so she can leave the office
Low-rise jeans
When a person with long, poofy, untethered hair prepares her burrito
Hip-hop songs where all they talk about is s*e*x
When both her pairs of jeans are in the wash
Tanning beds
When the laundry hamper overflows
Poker, especially when televised, or any other card game besides cribbage
Ignorance, especially in herself
Colored contacts
Poorly planned, homogeneous suburbs
When people crack their knuckles
When people neglect to use their turn signal
The Grammies (I think I threw in the towel when Steely Dan won.)
Steely Dan
The Eagles (except for Hotel California, natch)
Hearing someone crack his or her knuckles
Sitcom couples where the wife is a gorgeous, thin, prepossessing woman with large bosoms and the man is an unkempt, unattractive jerk
That Rachel got together with Ross at the end of “Friends”
Chapped lips
Rat-tails, mullets, etc.
Forgetting her sunglasses
Coffee
Gum
Carbonated beverages
Poorly constructed websites
Stupid car/truck decals, ie “Cowboy Up” or when the copyright-infringed Calvin is piddling on ANYTHING!!!
When her coworker turns around 18 times in five minutes, inhibiting her websurfing
The bathroom at work
UV rays
Star Trek Voyager
Black olives
Thatching the lawn
How she feels after reading People or Us (shallow and dirty)
The Price Is Right
The local TV news (“THE LETHAL DANGER LURKING IN YOUR HOME!”) and fear-mongering in general
Gambling
Heather-gray clothing
Losing things
Overdrawing her checking account
People younger than she accomplishing great things (that list grows longer by the year!)
Evian
Licorice
Martinis
Bargaining
Toothpastes not approved as decay-preventing dentifrices by the American Dental Association
When Susse reminds her of some bozo from high school she has not thought of in ten years
Balancing a checkbook, keeping a check register, or worrying about money
People who humiliate their partners in public
Vaguely or possibly Christian-themed businesses (ie, New Dawn Espresso—just put a Jesus Fish on the sign if that’s your thing!)
When her MSH goes away and she cannot fall asleep
Spoons that got caught in the garbage disposal and cut up her lip
White tic-tacs
Subscriptions to weekly publications (always behind! always behind!)
Dennis Miller now that he is a right-wing extremist (very bizarre)
Banana Runts
Not being able to find a parking space
Taking her car through automatic car washes
Valances
Wall-to-wall carpeting