The Marmot: Not So Much With Keeping Certain Items, Um, Clean

A refrigerator was left to us by the previous owners of our house. We designated this “the beer fridge” when we moved in and shortly after held a party where some generous guests brought 3 half racks of beer that were stowed therein. Unfortunately, no one ever wanted to drink this beer, because a slightly moldy smell wafted out upon opening the refrigerator—that can affect one’s appetite. So the fridge was soon after unplugged and no one opened it for about two years. I opened it Tuesday night and ye gods—what mold can do with a little condensation!!! It’s a sight to behold—white and green strings and clouds of mold reaching out of the holes in the cardboard carriers—which would probably crumble at the first touch--and the smell has progressed from slightly moldy into the upper echelons of intense stank, making one cough. You may be assured that I will be dealing with that beer and wiping the thing down with bleach before the item is Freecycled. Let me clarify—it will be the Marmot who does this, and not MSH.* And I will be wearing a mask and rubber gloves. Which gloves will be afterward disinfected with bleach and sanitized in the upper rack of the dishwasher. Unless I get comments telling me this is a short track to a burnt-up dishwasher.

Yesterday I did the following to my four-door Toyota Corolla:

Got my oil changed by those hucksters at Jiffy Lube
Had my tires checked at Les Schwab—A-OK!
Deposited 80 pounds of crap from my basement into the practically full-to-the-brim (for remodel only!) storage unit
Cleaned out car (trash, etc—as distinct from “shit” deposited in storage unit)
Vacuumed my car
Cleaned non-plush surfaces of car, including scrub-brushing an area of feculence beneath the e-brake which had been feculent for like three years—exhilarating!
Cleaned interior of the rear window and one back passenger window

As you know if you know me personally and/or have taken a ride in my car, or even looked at from the outside, this is more cleaning and maintenance than my car has seen in the previous two years and ESPECIALLY on the same day. The big trip to Onion Town, which includes two passengers to whom I am not married, has me on high car-hygiene alert. And I’m not done. I have high hopes, before leaving town, of obtaining one of those pine tree air fresheners, new wiper blades, a trash bag of some description, and maybe applying Rain-X to the windshield if I have time.

The only thing that’s really lame about my car now (besides the fact that its exterior is mighty filthy) is that some joker made off with the Toyota logo on the trunk. In its place is a Toyota logo-shaped…turdness, slightly drooping on one side. I have not replaced because I don’t find the time to go to the dealership now that I’ve sworn off their $40 oil changes and I feel sure that the thing will cost me $50 without installation. You doubt it? Try breaking a reflective trunk panel. I got a “special price” of $215 because I batted my eyelashes. Now, the root of the problem is backing into my parents’ trash can at 20 miles an hour, but there’s an explanation which I won’t get into here, and which one of us hasn’t backed into a trash can? Seriously, folks!

MSH is obsessed with Season 1 of "Lost" on DVD. And I'm getting a bit sucked in, myself, although I haven't seen the first four episodes. How can you possibly watch the cliffhanger ending of an episode and wait a whole week--I couldn't handle the stress, let alone the delicate balance that is MSH. We've already decided he will wait until Season 2 is out on DVD so he can watch it all at once. And seriously, he is hot.

One of the coolest things about the trip to Onion Town: Getting to see Perpetual Thursday. (At least, I hope she'll agree to see me after reading the foregoing evidence of my lack of cleanliness.) One of the other coolest things? Breakfasting at Clarette's! They're very old-school, they don't have a website. More cool things, actually experienced, to be posted Monday!

*I'm also in charge of spider removal. Hey, someone told me the other day that if you put indoor spiders outside, they die. What do you say?