i know this shouldn't be funny...

...but it is. From a spam email in my work account (italics are mine):

Looking for a perfect gift?

Why of course I am! Christmas is just around the corner!

Gift hard erection. gedanken

Love the German. That festive touch.

Really, who wouldn't want a gift hard erection for Christmas?

One of the things I love about my office are the big windows that look out at a large oak tree, and some houses and even the Cascade foothills. Today I saw a pretty birdy.

Speaking of birdies, I mistyped an employee's (Chris') name in an email, and used the right-click/AutoCorrect thing, but a mouse finger spasm meant I clicked the wrong word. So I ended up with Chirps Harris. (instead of Chris Harris.) Then I snickered to myself for like a FULL MINUTE until my coworker asked me what was up. When things strike me as funny, I can't hide it inside! (and squeak) [Squeak!] As the squeakelers do...

Enough! My work PRODUCTIVA* juggernaut cannot be stopped! I've reconciled the credit card bill and said "oh no you DIH-unt!" to Intuit's (the makers of QuickBo*ks') automatic billing scam, and now I'm off to clean some pesky programs off computer, clean some pesky feculence off my desk, and take a meeting regarding insurance issues!

*PRODUCTIVA means you are getting stuff DONE.