My love/hate relationship with the UPillage, continued

What the CRAP is going on down at the UPillage?! Yesterday I innocently round the corner from the bank to get some facial cleanser at the Body Shop and... no Body Shop! Not only that, no Burrito Loco and no A La Francaise Bakery/Deli! In the blink of an eye, their signage has disappeared and the storefronts are surrounded with blue-painted plywood. I asked a nearby shopkeep and she divulged the rumor that Ralph Lauren will soon be gracing the combined floorspace with his overpriced made-in-Indonesia wack-ass bullcrap. She didn’t put it quite that way. But I am.

The point of the UPillage—oh wait—outdoor shopping in Seattle weather...parking wholly insufficient...crosswalks exposing pedestrians to moving cars hither and thither...no point at all. So instead let's say: part of the enjoyment of the UPillage FOR ME is the variety. Taking out three stores in favor of one big store lessens this variety. I like the convenience of doing a bit of shopping after depositing the checks for work, and now my only recourse for “beauty/hygiene products” is Bartell’s (I do love Bartell’s, but they don’t have many natural products), Sephora, which gives me a headache (literally) and Kiehl’s, which is so overpriced it can induce hysterical laughter AND has non-visually appealing packaging. Furthermore, the number of choices down there for Places That Sell Food You Can Buy and Eat Right Now (meaning other than sit-down restaurants and Pasta & Co., which you have to take home and reheat, and let me take this opportunity to opine that Pallino Pastaria is overpriced and BITES ASS) has been paltry for quite some time and now they’ve basically cut it in half. Apparently the UPillage management is catering to the upper-crust crowd, who has gourmet Zone diet meals fed to them by servants off sterling silver trays while they browse $250 shirts and share stock tips. All of this is fine, you know. If that’s your thing, wiping your ass with fifty-dollar bills or whatever. But I ain’t in that tax bracket, and I want a goddam burrito!