Opinions/Observations/Advice Regarding Pregnancy (Month 6)

1. Only craving so far: real lemonade. (Of course, normal pre-pregnancy cravings of chocolate, pasta, cheese, fruit, etc., continue unabated.)


ITEM #2, Maternity Wardrobe, About Which I Have Many Opinions

2a. The best place to buy maternity clothes that are moderately fashionable (you can take that with a grain of salt if you've seen how I sometimes leave the house) do not make you feel like a giant ship being fitted out for sails is the GAP Maternity department (sales rack, of course!)

2b. Many maternity clothing brands/companies claim that you can "wear your prepregnancy size." As far as I can tell, this is only true if your ass, hips, and thighs have remained exactly the same size. And since that doesn't happen unless you're Nicole Richie, the first sentence of this item is hornswoggle.

2c. At the beginning, you can get away with wearing XL pants. At some point around the 5th month, this didn't work for me anymore, at least not with pants. You can get away with a lot in dresses and even skirts that have knit panel or foldover waists, but then your thighs (If you're not Nicole Richie) will chafe. I hear some people deal with this by buying bicycle shorts to wear underneath. I'm still wearing gauchos with v. stretchy waistbands.

2d. More hornswoggle: Old Navy maternity pants (jeans!) come in Small, Medium, and Large. I'm skeptical. I have a medium, and I'll keep you posted. I'm quite skeptical.

2e. Never buy a piece of maternity clothing, especially pants, without trying it on. I hit the jackpot with a maternity bathing suit and *possibly* those Medium jeans from OldNavy.com. But if sizing varies widely brand to brand, it's even more true of maternity clothing. Try sitting down in it walking around the whole store in it, reaching up to get something in it--I bought a pair of cropped jeans that were a great deal in a maternity resale shop, and I have to pull them up every ten steps I walk so they do not reveal plumber's crack. I think the elastic in the belly panel is just shot.

2f. You will have to buy some new stuff--don't beat yourself up about it. Look in resale shops if they're conveniently located and you have the time, but if you really NEED something that will cover your new [boobs, belly, ass] and you need it TODAY, go to a store that sells new items in a range of sizes. You can go to three resale stores and see things, but they will all be one of a kind...

2g. Buy pants with STRETCH in them, not just the stretchy belly/waist panel--stretch jeans, stretch trousers. Trust me. I don't think it's quite as necessary with shorts.

3. What To Expect When You're Expecting is a bunch of anxiety-inducing, Fox-News-style, useless, wool-gathering, fascist diet-promoting hogwash. You do not need to read about 800 things that could possibly but in 99% of cases probably WON'T go wrong with your pregnancy. It's written in this weird Q&A format. If you feel like something's wrong, don't try to find it in the Pregnancy Paranoia Primer, just ask your healthcare provider. Do not buy this book. If you bought it don't read it. If you're reading it, stop.

4. When you get pregnant, there will be one bra in your drawer that will fit you without digging into your belly at the in-between-the-boobs-bridge part. It will be one that was too big for you before, so if you lose weight, do not ever throw away bras.

5. The only preggo/childbirth book I have really loved so far is Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. It made me feel relaxed and excited and MUCH less fearful about giving birth. (Yes, your vajayjay CAN get that big!) The first half is real birth stories from different mothers; the second half is her studies/observations on current childbirth practices in the U.S., often contrasting these with data from The Farm, the commune in Tennessee where she's been delivering babies since 1970. She also has another book I haven't read yet, called Spiritual Midwifery.

6. Yoga is a really good thing for everybody to do, say, three times a week. During pregnancy, it is essential that you do some yoga, even if it's ten minutes! EVERY DAY, unless you want your body to be a creaky, painful, knot-ridden trainwreck. I think going to a prenatal yoga class is a wonderful thing--I've been going to one that's led by a yoga teacher/doula--but it's also great to have a DVD to pop in at home whenever you need two. Here are two I recommend; the first one is my go-to, I've used it the most:

Prenatal Yoga With Shiva Rea

The Divine Mother Prenatal Yoga Series with Anna Getty

8. Being pregnant is amazing. I love feeling the person inside me moving around. In the morning, he's often very active (and my abdominal muscles are relaxed, and I'm more perceptive) and I can feel him drumming a little tattoo on the inside of my belly. It's a delightful friendly feeling. I can't wait to meet the wee chap.