practice

Last week, with all the yoga teaching and other stuff, I only practiced once. (Still haven't started practicing at home. Note to self.) Sunday I put all that behind me and practiced Bikram. Last night I took a Power Vinyasa class from the amazing Krista. As usual, it kicked my hiney, but it also opened me up incredibly. I haven't felt that open, physically or emotionally, since training. I know this because in one-legged pigeon my torso was flat against my calf, leaning into it.* I was opening my hips into new places and it felt great. The other indication that I was Open: I was crying. I know one might think this is a bad thing, and maybe it's not good for everyone, but for me if I'm in a yoga class, and I start releasing enough negative emotion to make me weep, that's awesome. Better out than in, dude. It happened a few times in training. The class ROCKED. Power Vinyasa--it takes, but it gives back!

Then! I taught my own (75 min) class just after that class. Six students this time--it's been a few weeks since I've had fewer than five or six and that's good! I threw in pigeon at the end. Mmm.... pigeon.... And I just felt so open, calm, and relaxed the whole time as I taught. It felt good. I am really trying to come into my voice and enjoy how it sounds in the room.

This morning I was at the office and thinking my 5-class intro at Yogalife was about to run out...so I looked at their website and there was a Vinyasa class at noon! So at 11:30, I drove straight home, grabbed my mat, and raced down there just in time. I was wearing yoga-capable pants (my favorite pants--it's not a heated studio) but didn't have a top with me and hadn't wanted to dig through my dresser AND I've been needing new ones** and had part of a gift certificate left over, so I quickly explained the situation (small rib cage, big maracas) and was soon wearing something I have never worn before: a yoga/sport top with a shelf bra in which I can practice yoga without wearing a sports bra underneath. It just comes up high enough that I don't spill out the top or cleave or anything. More on that in a future post.

The teacher was excellent. It was a small class, and a little easier or gentler than the Power Vinyasa classes I'm used to. This was probably partially, but not completely, because I'm used to a heated room! But it was a really good class. Just my stability in the Warriors and Crescent Lunge made me realize how far I've come since my first Vinyasa class. She ended our class with legs-up-the wall pose with blankets sort of bolstering/cuddling our heads so they didn't move around. That, my friends, was the BOMB. I didn't read to the end of that article I linked, but I've seen the pose recommended for insomnia, and I have done it before bed and I fell asleep quicker than usual.

And it turns out Yogalife's 5-class intro doesn't expire until three months from the day you take your first class. Nice and mellow!

*Allow me to bitch here that that was the only link I was able to find with the pigeon pose that we normal people (read: non-ex-ballerinas) practice on a weekly or daily basis. Until we've been practicing intensively and/or for ten years, most of us cannot do this. AHEM.

teach teach teach!

So, I now have FIVE weekly classes. I am so pumped! Things are looking good for the personal training place in Woodinville, too. Could be up to four classes a week...and I'll still keep my office job in some form...I'll be one busy lady! Hopefully I will find an equilibrium, though. I am actually happiest and most productive when I have a certain perfect amount of things going on. If my schedule is too open, LOOMS the TV and the mac'n'cheese eaten directly out of the pan. I don't like to remember those days. Dark days. But I digress!

The studio in Redmond is beautiful--hard floor so I may have to get a thicker mat if I practice there regularly. It didn't bother me until Fixed Firm/Reclining Hero and then the tops of my feet really bothered me, especially second set! The heat is really nice, piped in right through several vents in the ceiling but MAN it was dry. I barely worked up a sweat. I will have to make use of their large humidifiers when I teach there.

THIS week I am subbing twice so I will actually teach SEVEN classes. Things I will need to explore in the next few weeks and months and YOU'LL HEAR IT FIRST, DEAR READER:

1. How to balance all the roles in my life:
Dharma Practitioner
Yoga Teacher
part-time Office Manager
Special Events coordinator for my Dharma center
Wife (does home-owner go in here? dishes? laundry?)

2. How much and what type of reflective private time do i need to refill my yoga teacher tank?

3. How many hand-made Christmas presents can I realistically produce given all the stuff I'm doing on a weekly basis?

Looking back at this post, it seems I have contracted the CAPITALitis. Let's hope for your sake it passes quickly!

OH and to the commenter who commented on the pants post and pointed me to the Lucy Harmony Pant: Yep. That is the pant in question. The Very Important Pant.

o snap!

I got the job! *happy dance*

I met with the yoga manager, who was charming and pixie-esque. She told me a little about the studios, and asked about the Barkan class, then told me all about the benefits of teaching for her studios.

Then it was off to teach my class up the street. I was nervous to have the manager take it, but of course once I started teaching I was so stuck in my own head I forgot she was even there. (Of course this in-my-headness usually means I fail to correct my students...must work on this!) As usual, I wasn't very pleased with my class, but MSH came and said it was one of my better classes and the regular who came last week sounded much more positive this week than last week, ie "This one was really good!" The beginners who came last week were back, too. So... the manager wants me to teach for them three times a week! She gave me some good constructive criticism: She says I have a really nice voice but I kind of stop or trail off instead of really moving through a given thought I'm expressing. She says I should really fill up the room with my voice. (But other than that she claims it's good.) She says she likes the Barkan better than Bikram and wants me to teach that Thursday afternoons in Redmond. Huzzah! She also wants me to teach Wednesday nights (before HYL) in Seattle and I'm going to have to see how Krista feels about that. I don't think the timing will work and I don't want to rush from one studio to another. I wonder if even have "the juice" to teach back to back classes. It really takes a lot of energy. The teacher who taught before me this evening had taught FOUR classes today. Wow. After that I would need some alone time on a couch just cogitating. Or...some breathing meditation. I've also been offered Sunday mornings at 9 AM through the same set of studios, and 4:30 PM Saturdays. MSH thinks I should go for Sunday. So I think I will do that one, but not the Saturdays as well. Wow, that would be FIVE (or six, depending on Wednesday) classes a week, tee hee!

I had a good conversation with my office boss today, too. I'm transitioning to fewer hours and not doing a good job of balancing my needs with the company's to wit I commit to more hours than I can really work. We aired our needs, feelings, etc. and I think things will be better going forward. He has been so supportive and really very flexible, and sounds like he will be in future, too. Which is awesome. I am so lucky.

It finally got really cold and wet in Seattle, at last, this very week. It feels good. It feels right. If this grosses you out, move! Awaaaaay down in Florida my Barkan buddies are emBarkaning on level II (Vinyasa) training...hopefully that will be me next year...I LOVE me some Power Vinyasa and can't wait to teach it!

How to Succeed In Yoga Teaching Without Really Trying

This always happens to me.

Back in '03, I had been a receptionist for almost two years (these were good times--building confidence, paying off credit card debt) and I was ready for a change. Not ready to do the heavy lifting like Revising The Resume, I did sign up for one of my alma mater's periodical "networking" evenings whereby alums who want jobs elbow each other out of the way trying to impress the few people in the room who may have a line on some open positions without spilling their drinks. Now, this is a good thing that the college puts this on, don't get me wrong, but I hate talking about myself and my career objectives with people I've just met. So it will come as no surprise that when the evening rolled around, I found a reason to be elsewhere. But since my name was on the registration list, an alum who ALSO didn't end up coming to the networking night, who is married to a guy who runs a start-up, got my name, my employer and my then job-title ("Operations Assistant"--they were looking for an Operations Manager) via the Alumni Office. She then looked up my employer's phone number, called me at work, and asked me if I wanted a job. Long story short, a few meetings later I'd landed a really good job, a step up, a job with absolutely zero bureaucracy, good money, a chance to do what I thought I really wanted to do when I grew up at the time (editing,) working with people who after three years STILL do not annoy me--not one--they are awesome. And notice...all I did to get the job...was sign up for an event I never attended. So basically, I just "put out the vibe." When people asked me how I got the job, I wanted to tell them to save time and just start banging their heads into the wall now, because I know it doesn't seem fair. Karma, people.

So, cut to present day, I've been revising my yoga resume repeatedly, enjoying my two lovely classes a week at HYL and my new 30hr a week schedule, wishing really hard for more yoga teaching jobs and not accomplishing MUCH concrete toward getting them, when on Thursday a teacher from HYL (among other studios) calls. She asks if I'd be interested in teaching at a hot yoga studio in Redmond. WOULD I?! She refers me to the woman who hires yoga teachers for that studio and another studio in Seattle. So Monday I am meeting with this yoga manager. (I have a hunch they only recently bought the Seattle one, further updates as I learn more.) Then she's taking my 8:15 at HYL. I am for sure subbing for the two studios a total of three classes in the coming week (hooray!) and if she smells what I'm cookin' on Monday night then I may have regular gigs at these studios!!! (quadruple hooray!!)

Now, once I put the phone down quit doing my happy dance, I ask myself how I got this job. The teacher from HYL, as far as I can recall, hasn't taken a class from me, just knows me and knows I'm a new teacher and I need work. So really I put forth very little effort to do this job, just right place right time or something. I am so excited, but also feel a little sheepish, like once again I got an A on the test without studying. Well, I guess that metaphor won't fit until I ace the "audition" tomorrow night. So wish me luck!

And by the way, as I have a paranoid thought process about potential yoga employers reading my blog and knowing who I am--the TITLE OF THIS POST is ironical. I try very, very hard. And I know I have a lot to learn, a mountain to climb before I am in the same weight class as the yoga teachers who inspire me. But I am competent, and I'm getting better every day. (Cue "Eye of the Tiger.")

Stand by the grey stone when the thrush knocks

So, my normal Wednesday office work schedule is 7am to 10:30 am. So I can get LOTS of yoga job searching done on Wednesdays. Ha ha. First I somehow turned off my alarm, thinking I was snoozing. Then MSH rolled over and said "It's eight o' clock, you know." No, I did not know that, my sweet husband. Crap. So I rolled out of bed, threw on some "casualwear" and a baseball cap, and dragged my hiney to work. There I was inefficient through much of the morning and so did not accomplish my Three Vital To-Do Items until 12:30. From there, I went to two grocery stores, got a piece of quiche, 2 lbs of organic bananas (which I now realize I only got because I had a coupon which made them free that I forgot to give to the checker) and a lot of ice cream. Then I came home, ate lunch (quiche on a bed of carrot sticks and celery sticks) while reading my current book: "Class Action : The Story of Lois Jenson and the Landmark Case that Changed Sexual Harassment Law." Then I took my friends Ben and Jerry downstairs to watch a little TV. I was finally able to wrench myself from the grasp of the demon television just after 4:00. Went upstairs really intending to buckle down on revising my resume, when Krista called--could I be at the studio in 10 minutes to teach a Bikram class? Do my sports bras have permastink?! I hopped into my shoes and zoomed down there--I didn't even change into a sports bra! I think I taught a great class, 11 students, felt v. confident. It was a nice change to teach Bikram, especially because my 1 hr 15 min slots on Monday and Wednesday nights mean single sets only. I really liked being able to teach second sets. After class, one of the regulars complimented my teaching, said my dialogue in the standing series had really improved since the last time he'd been in my class. Said I'm still lagging in the savasanas (rest poses on the floor) but was very positive. This made my day.

Then I got to come back at 8:15 and teach again! Much smaller class, 4 students, one beginner. Tonight and Monday night I just had these moments where I looked around at my students and felt this deep feeling of gratitude and humility at being able to affect their minds/bodies in a positive way. Had a regular who hadn't taken my class before and she said afterward she really liked it! The new student was beginning a yoga practice to help with emotional issues. She did very well for her first yoga class ever. Afterward she bounced out of the classroom and told me "That was fun!" This is the best job I've ever had.

gettin' the party started

My first Monday night class (two days ago) had nine students not including my husband! So on the bright side, I'll be paid. Of course, many of the students came expecting Power Vinyasa since until four days prior, flyers at the studio had been advertising the time slot as such! Oh well, bait and switch if you have to, I guess. No one seemed visibly disgruntled, in fact people seemed to like it. As usual, I thought I'd done terribly but MSH said it was awesome and when I pressed him, he said it was better than last time. Before leaving for the studio I did a short breathing meditation and really focused on my intention for teaching. I think it helped because when I forgot which pose was next I just glided into whichever pose came to mind. Which is really OK since in Barkan you can switch it around and none of the students were prepared for a particular order anyway. I do need to memorize a sequence (any sequence! j/k) and study more in general. The learning never ends!

My afternoons away from the office continue to be only moderately productive as regards obtaining yoga work. Today I did come up with new ideas on where to teach. And I searched the internet for support/materials for newly certified yoga teachers. Guess what? There kind of isn't any. (PLEASE comment if you can prove me wrong!) I guess when I have half a clue what I'm doing I should set up an online community for folks like me. If only I knew how to do that. I did post a comment for Erica Rodefer, oh she who has been blogging about her teacher training over at Yoga Journal. So we'll see if she has any ideas on reading material for We the Newly Minted Yoga Teachers. Of course, I do feel very supported by my fellow graduates of Barkan--they are always there for me when I send out a mass email. But of course when I write I have to phrase it in some way other than "help i'm feeling really insecure and i can't call studios because i'm not certified in anusara, iyengar, or astanga and i don't want to call scary gym owners on the phone and can't someone please do all the work for me i just want to teach MOMMMMEEEEEEE!" Just kidding. I'm not that bad. On my good days. Actually at the moment I'm brimming with optimism. There are actually like 983 places I could conceivably teach yoga in this city and I haven't even started to contact them. And I just called and left a voicemail for a personal training studio who advertised on Craigslist, and didn't say "um" once! That I am aware of. Best of all, I get to teach in only a few hours. Yipes, I'd better eat something! Don't want to go flop-bot mid-class!