u r so cool!

So, last Thursday, despite feeling very. Pouty. About work. I went to the Owl & Thistle to ring in St. Patrick’s Day, to meet a couple of friends. As the evening wore on and the beer flowed, I of course felt better and was glad I hadn’t just gone home and thrown myself an anxiety/pity party. Friends of my friends arrived, making our number six at one point. One of these girls, we’ll call her Kirsty, immediately struck me as being particularly smart, funny, self-deprecating, and sweet—-in short, a potential friend! She is a big fan of “Arrested Development” and I told her about an online petition http://www.petitiononline.com/Arrested/petition.html to try to save the show from cancellation. I got her email address so I could send it to her. I forgot about it for a few days, but remembered this morning, so I wrote her an email and included the link. I really thought this girl was the shiznit, and totally want to be her friend. I could tell she thought I was funny because she laughed at some of my weird gestures. (I would demonstrate some of them now, but the medium and my lack of digital media equipment prevent it.) BUT I also didn’t want her to think I was a complete freak and/or romantically inclined toward her. Here’s what I would have written if I had let it all hang out:

Kirsty—

I had so much fun with you last Thursday night. You are the coolest! You totally crack me up. I hope we can hang out soon. Where did you say you lived? I know you said you work in Renton. Anyway, here’s the link to the Arrested Development petition. I watched it Sunday night—I loved the part with the robot vacuum! http://www.petitiononline.com/Arrested/petition.html

Cheers,
The Marmot

Here’s what I really wrote:

> -----Original Message----->
From: The Marmot>
Sent: Mar 22, 2005 11:32 AM>
To: kirsty@comcast.net [not her actual email address]
Subject: arrested development

> > Kirsty--
> > I really enjoyed meeting you last Thursday!! :)
> > Here is the link to the Arrested Development> petition;> hope it works!!
> > http://www.petitiononline.com/Arrested/petition.html
> > Colette

This was her response:
--- Kirsty kirsty@comcast.net wrote:

> It was SO fun to meet you. Thank you for the link.
> I really am planning to have a girl's program
> evening, but somehow time has flown a bit faster
> than I'd expected. We must hang out again soon, I
> promise to get something into motion.
> Kirsty>

Obviously I am delighted. (I also thought: geez, it’s been less than a week, she doesn’t need to apologize for time flying! I also thought: she used the correct “than,” signifying good grammar skills. This bodes well.) I wrote back, still thinking, I don’t want to be enthusiastic or she’ll think I’m a freak!:

You're welcome. Cool, I will see you again soon!!
:)
C

I added the smiley face at the last minute, wanting to non-verbally communicate my excitement. Now I’m really hoping she *does* email me again to set up plans. At least I “waited,” you know, a decent number of days, “playing it cool,” before sending the email. I guess this post doesn’t have much of a point besides: I’m kind of neurotic. But you knew that.

to market, to market

Today’s shopping list (my parents are coming for a visit—don’t worry, I’ll eat quinoa with butter, salt, and pepper while they are eating meat.)

Dairy:
Cheddar Cheese
Milk
Nancy’s Nonfat Yogurt
Eggs

Produce:
Potatoes (2 lg Russet)
Lemon
Lime
Ginger
Parsley
Asparagus
Celery
Onion
Garlic
Baby carrots
Apples
Oranges
Grapefruit
Bread for sammiches
Rolls

Meats:
Turkey meat for sammiches
1 sm whole chicken
3 lamb shanks, cracked
Some salmon

Miscellaneous:
Pepper (the spice)
Nuts
Stoned Wheat Thins (ha ha)
Pretzels
Pancake mix
Chardonnay
Tomato sauce
Coca Cola (for my deddy. I think I can actually cabbage this from work--my boss buys soda for the office. And he's been gone all week--his usual consumption of Coke is frightening.)

Damn! That’s a lotta food. Hope it doesn’t cost more than sixty doghairs. Don’t be too impressed at my cooking skills—two of these meals will be prepared in a slow cooker.

Happy Birthday to Susse!!! (+ tv ramblings)

Happy Birthday cutie patootie,
Happy Birthday my little cabbage,
Happy Birthday dear Susse,
...
Happy Birthday to YOU!!!

(Work it.)

So Monday we had our Comcast DVR installed. It’s a DVR/cable box, replaced our current box. There’s a monthly fee for the service, but no cost for the box. We can now record up to two different channels simultaneously while watching a third. We can store up to 60 hours of television. (We don’t have HDTV—it’s less for high def TV.) We can pause and rewind live TV. We can (and already have) set the thing to record every single episode of “The O.C.,” “Deadwood,” "Scrubs," “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,” and “Clean Sweep.” I would like to point out that I learned to do the last thing all by myself as MSH is out of town! Well, the tech who installed did provide some on-the-spot training. And we still get OnDemand and all that good stuff. Basically, I will never again stay up until 1 AM watching crap TV; I can now stay up until 1 AM bingeing on prerecorded stuff I like to watch.

Obviously, I’m pretty pleased with myself. However, I have very mixed feelings about this development. Our household keeps getting sucked deeper and deeper into TV land. I love “the O.C.” and I’m addicted to “the Sopranos” and “Deadwood,” but at this point in my life, with all the things that are truly healthy, meaningful, and fulfilling to me, I would not own a TV if I lived by myself. I know that sounds hypocritical. Probably is hypocritical. MSH is always pointing this out! "But you watch it for hours at a time," he says--sometimes until 1 AM!" True, true--but that is precisely the reason I want to drop kick the em effer into the street!! See, the TV is THERE. (Why did the Marmot watch the TV? Because it was there!) There’s NO way I could convince him to get rid of it. I’ve had to be very firm at key points to keep it out of the bedroom. I might as well be able to watch what I really enjoy. But I keep telling MSH we have to have a three-year plan to wean off of HBO once “Sopranos” and “Deadwood” are both complete. And I make it a point not to watch new HBO shows so I won’t get involved with them—-HBO shows tend to be really good. With the exception of "Entourage." HBO is expensive.

Lastnight while I was setting the DVR to record this stuff, I saw a brief ad for a new reality show on Lifetime called “I Married a Princess.” This featured a man holding a baby saying, “It’s not what it’s cracked up to be.” The man looked very like Casper Van Dien, he of the chiseled jaw (“Starship Troopers,” “Sleepy Hollow.”) A quick Google search revealed that yes, that was him; there is such a show; he is married to a Princess, Catherine Oxenberg—her mother is a Princess of Serbia and Montenegro, so I guess she’s a princess, too. She also used to be on “Dynasty.” I’m tempted to watch—after all, I have a TV, I think Casper Van Dien is a cutie patootie…but that show just sounds bad. It’s described online as being like "Newlyweds," and honey, that’s not a recommendation for this discriminating viewer!

In other news, Lebowski Fest West is this weekend in Los Angeles. Wish I could be there—as witnessed by this blog’s title, I’m a pretty big fan. But I haven’t reached that stage in my life where I can justify that kind of expense to go to an event just to meet others who share my passion for quoting from “The Big Lebowski.” But damn. There’s a costume contest, and the Big Lebowski (the other Jeffrey Lebowski, the millionaire) will be in attendance, as will Karl Hungus (you may know him from another Coen Bros. film, “Fargo,) the coffee shop waitress, and the Ralph’s checkout girl. Not to mention Jeff Dowd, the Coen Bros’ inspiration for the Dude, who actually does drink White Russians--he never misses a Lebowski Fest. Anyway, I hope the faithful have a great time. Proud we are of all of them.

Wouldn’t hold out much hope for the tape deck, though. Or the Creedence.

crime and compassion

Sorry for the long silence. I've had several blog impulses, but wanted to get this post, which I've been sweating over for a while, up before I went on to lighter subjects. I've been very hesitant to post it, mostly because I'm afraid I'm articulating very poorly what I want to express. Guess I'll find out!

DISCLAIMER: I am not a qualified teacher of the dharma (Buddhist teachings), so please take what I say even in peripheral relation to them as the obscured bumblings of an amateur, and don’t evaluate the dharma based on my words.

At dharma class on Tuesday night, when I should have been making my mind an open vessel to the teachings, something started me thinking about Brian Nichols, the gunman in Atlanta. The end of that story was so interesting. As events unfolded and the body count went up, I think the media and myself both imagined that it could only end in a bloody standoff. In reality, the end was much different.

How was the violent “madman” brought down? By one average citizen, his hostage, just talking to him. She pleaded for her life, and told him her daughter had already lost her father, but she also listened to him and talked with him about the Bible (via a popular Christian book) and the purpose of life. He untied her. She made him pancakes. And in the end, after talking with her for hours and never hurting her, Brian Nichols let her go, even though she believes he knew she would call police.

I realize some people might be a little repulsed by the idea of her speaking kindly to him and making him breakfast, because he has raped and killed people. I have grown to feel it is important to generate compassion for all sentient beings, including criminals. One of the prerequisites to generating compassion is to realize that the other person/dog/mosquito, all other beings, are essentially just like me: they suffer just like me and they seek happiness just as I do. The hostage, Ashley Smith, had a criminal history of petty crime herself. Maybe this enabled her to look through her fear in some way?

I'm grateful that for once, a storyline that promised to end in (additional) violent bloodshed was just snuffed out by one person's brave compassion.

Movie Review: "Downfall (Der Untergang)"

This movie depicts in detail the last days of Hitler and his associates in the bunker in Berlin, as well as some events outside the bunker (the fall of Berlin.) I should preface this by saying that I have an active interest in the history of World War II. This is not a documentary, but a reenactment with actors, and all in German with subtitles(except a bit of Russian near the end.) The screenplay was based on a historical text by Joachim Fest and first-person accounts by Traudl Junge, Hitler’s personal secretary from 1942 until the end, and a young boy who fought the Russians in the streets as part of the Hitler youth. I found the film gripping and fascinating throughout. Bruno Ganz as Adolf Hitler is incredible. And the woman playing Magda Goebbels is frightening.

I hope I am not overly fascinated with the subject, but I found the continued fantasy on the part of Hitler and Eva Braun weirdly mesmerizing. She keeps trying to throw parties and get people to dance, and she’s all giddy. (Basically, she’s off her nut.) When a command post for an army regiment was overtaken by the Russians, Hitler threatened to have the commander shot for "moving the command post" toward the Russian lines. He was ordering companies to attack who were completely encircled, or had 80% casualties, or little to no ammunition. And the most shocking revelation to me, and one they really drove home, was that he coldly sacrificed the people of Berlin--he directly caused thousands of people to die needlessly by not surrendering. He said the German people had proved themselves weak so they had to die, they betrayed him; he was totally unsympathetic to them. Totally inhuman (why would anyone be surprised? but it was shocking to me just the same.) But the movie was interesting in that at moments it portrayed him in a sympathetic light, warmly concerned for his secretaries or for his dog.

As Hitler continues to deny the inevitable, hemmed in by a roomful of sweating commanders simultaneously hating him (he castigated them as traitors and cowards whenever they even hinted at the truth of the situation,) horrified by his actions, and scared to death by him, I kept thinking: TWO assassination plots involving the high-up military brass have already failed. They must have been going nuts.

So, I recommend the movie, but I would warn the potential viewer that it is pretty violent—it is a war movie, and depicts a group of desperate people at the tail end of a grand, horrible, violent dream. There were some depictions of amputation that I had to look away from, and there are several suicides.

According to my sister, the movie has been criticized in Germany both for being too sympathetic to Hitler and for being too damning of Hitler. MSH was lukewarm. He thought it was too long. He said "Hitler was fucked up, and the people who were fanatical about him were fucked up, and they could have told us that in an hour and a half." So it brings up an interesting point about historical films. I think it was an excellent film, and an excellent historical film, because it seemed (and my reading seems to back this up) that great pains were taken to keep everything authentic down to the details. I admit my judgment is clouded because I am very interested in the history. But is the presentation of historical events beyond a dispassionate recitation of the facts useful or ethical? In other words, could someone who IS really unjustly fascinated with Hitler for all the WRONG reasons use this to fuel his fire? “Should” the movie have been made in other words, and made 2 hours 45 minutes long—does it glorify more than educate and warn?

wikiblog

So I got the 512mb ($99) iPod Shuffle like a week ago. And I didn't open it, mystifying my coworker Dan (who has one) and probably many other gadget-oriented folks. I don't really have an excuse, except I was doing other things. Yes, these things included scrapbooking and watching "Band of Brothers" on DVD with my husband, and other things that could be pushed aside, but it just didn't happen. So yesterday afternoon I decided it was time. Being a sort of techno-idiot, and having iPod software and iTunes already installed on the computer in question because my husband has an iPod (this somehow interfered with my personal ability to fully load the updated iPod software from a CD that came with the Shuffle,) I succeeded in getting one, and only one song (CHuck Proffitt "SummerTime Thing" from Live on the Mountain Vol. 9) on the thing. Otherwise, no dice.

MSH was able to easily fix my problem this morning before work, and I quickly loaded 5.5 hours of my favorite music onto the Shuffle, and still have room to spare. I am grooving to it at work, and will groove to it tomorrow morning as I drive to the Beav. I don't know if it can be overrated, this digital musical player thing--it's like listening to a radio (I"ve got it on random *shuffle* mode, see) station that only plays your favorite songs!! "Love You Madly" by Cake right before "SOlsbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel followed up by "California Love" by Tupac with Dr. Dre (I think. Nothin' but love fuh ya!) Naturally I'm about five years behind with this particular revelation, but it says "nice marmot" at the top, not "highly up-to-date and totally relevant." If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up. I am waiting on the armband, especially since I probably have a few weeks left (a week?) during which it will still be cool enough to zip the Shuffle into the pocket of a light running vest.

In other news, Susse and I went to the funky lil Harvard Exit thyatah lastnight for "In the Realms of the Unreal." (I'll wait while you Google that; add Henry Darger.) It was FASCINATING!! No time for a review now, but if you have the opportunity, SEE IT this weekend. I was totally mesmerized.

***************
UPDATE: Mountain Con's "North to California" right after "California Love?" What are the odds?! I love it. Shuffle on, little white gadget. Shuffle on.

the big red clue phone

Do you think I could arrange to have a letter mailed to me every four weeks, to arrive on Monday? (I could set a reminder in Outlook, at work, but a real letter would be more effective.) I would want the letter to say:

Dear Self:

Either tomorrow or the next day, you will begin your monthly period. You should be aware of this because you started taking green pills on Sunday.

Please note!

1. You may experience one or both of the following: insomnia, need for lots of sleep, dull stupor during waking hours.
2. You will get a nasty headache, and possibly your neck will tense up.
3. You will crave chocolate, and you should not give in to this craving.
4. You will be whiny and stupid.
5. The day your period starts, pack an extra tampon, an extra panty-liner, and two Extra-Strength Tylenol gel caplets in your jeans pockets.

Don't worry, because your husband will probably be very sympathetic, rub your neck, and may even make you corn chowder for dinner. But heed these warnings!!! And do not wonder what the hell is wrong with you when this happens. It happens every month. There is no mystery.

Fondly,
Self

o pablo mi pablo

Keeping Quiet



Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.

This one time upon the earth,
let's not speak any language,
let's stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.

It would be a delicious moment,
without hurry, without locomotives,
all of us would be together
in a sudden uneasiness.

The fishermen in the cold sea
would do no harm to the whales
and the peasant gathering salt
would look at his torn hands.

Those who prepare green wars,
wars of gas, wars of fire,
victories without survivors,
would put on clean clothing
and would walk alongside their brothers
in the shade, without doing a thing.

What I want shouldn't be confused
with final inactivity:
life alone is what matters,
I want nothing to do with death.

If we weren't unanimous
about keeping our lives so much in motion,
if we could do nothing for once,
perhaps a great silence would
interrupt this sadness,
this never understanding ourselves
and threatening ourselves with death,
perhaps the earth is teaching us
when everything seems to be dead
and then everything is alive.

Now I will count to twelve
and you keep quiet and I'll go.

-Pablo Neruda

smacka

is what i call my post when i don't know what to call it.

Lastnight, still in my funk, I had a talk with myself. Self--you are GOING to regain your energy, you are going to snap OUT of this. Seriously now! Now floss and brush. And then I opened my birth control pill pack and it occurred to me that MISSING A PILL laiden with hormones could certainly cause an inexplicable mood downturn? Hmmm? Now couldn't it?

The chief developer here is a genius. He was born and raised in China, and he's lived here for ten years. Development tasks which take an ordinary developer two days take him two hours. I wouldn't know, of course, but my boss swears it's true, and it's obvious he's damned fast. I pointed out a bug to him in the application I use to administrate user accounts to the website, and he emailed me to let me know it had been fixed (like five minutes later):

Fixed.

You always find some very interesting bugs. Carry on.

Three Amazing Things Before Dinner

Tonight on the way home from work I experienced the following:

1. A cherry tree that had been pruned into right-angle planes a couple of months ago. Now it's blooming so it's a giant rectangular prism of white blossoms!! It's beautiful. I will photograph it tomorrow, as it was too dim at the time, in the scintillating dusklight.

2. A man with one leg bicycling on a (regular old) bicycle. (How much of a heel am I for not riding a bike to work?)

3. A U.S. Supreme Court judge (via transcript, I think it was Souter, but don't quote me) refer to as accepted fact that the U.S. government "derives its authority from God." Um, excuse me? HOW ABOUT THE PEOPLE?!!!?!!!!!!??! I seem to remember something about them in the Constitution.

Meant to do some quilting tonight, but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe I'll watch some more Sex & the City, Season 4. They're running all of them on OnDemand, one season at a time. After season 1, though, they really went to town, making lots and lots of episodes and I can't make it through a full season before they switch them, so I've seen like half of the last two seasons.

Instead, I've been going through crap in my cluttered studio, trying to establish some order. (And avoiding THAT activity by emailing and posting to my blog.) I was sick yesterday, and worked a long day today. Anyway, it felt long. I think I was soaking up my boss' bad mood like a sponge, and didn't feel hydrated enough yet to seek solace in the yoga of Bikram. So I'm sort of in a funk.

'Night y'all.

driving the SUV

Lastnight I drove MSH and his buddy to el aeropuerto. Took Buddy's SUV (Nissan Pathfinder) so they could pile up all the golf paraphernalia in the back with ease, so I drove it home my own fels. With the usual disclaimers about if it works for you, that's super dee dooper, I have the following observations after driving his SUV:

I cannot see what the hell is going on behind me. Heebie and Jeebie!

His car has a lot of horsies under the hood. Yummy. Tap the gas and VROOM!! I was going a bit too fast and hadn't even noticed the acceleration.

Around a curve a bit too fast--whoops! Top-heavy! Aieee! Scary!

Having cruise control and music controls on the steering wheel is COOL.

I can see how being up a little higher gives you a sense of security or control in highway traffic, but I think it is illusory.

In closing, the SUV, it is not for this marmot. The marmot, she likey the Corolla!