hoh crikey.

While my mood is not nearly as pessimistic as the following snippet might imply, I really like it. He's one of my favorite comedians:

"In my lifetime, we’ve gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We’ve gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we’ll be voting for plants."
- Lewis Black

He's playing the Paramount in downtown Seattle this Saturday. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking up a $75 ticket. I myself have a previous engagement and an allergy to expensive tickets. Maybe I'll get lucky and run into him at the University Village Starbucks extemporating and expectorating to an adoring clutch of onlookers. Dare to dream.

Speaking of dreams, it's Christmas. (Yes, I know it's still November, and no, that does not matter a bit.) The season of giving. Notice it's the season of giving, not the season of money or consumption or nail-biting have-I-given-someone-the-"right"-gift. So, in celebration of this, think about what you can give to others this season. It is not the size or cost of the gift, it's your intention of generosity that counts. Acknowledge your blessings by blessing someone else--with a can of food, a gift off one of those "Giving Trees" at the mall, or just a heartfelt smile to a stranger.

Here are some excellent movies I enjoyed: "Walk the Line" and "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." Can't wait for "The Ice Harvest" and "Brokeback Mountain." For the latter, I'm having that nagging feeling like I should read the short story first. But then I get that nagging feeling like I shouldn't read something by someone whose last name I haven't a prayer of pronouncing correctly.

I know what you're thinking--why did the Marmot go all Hallmark on us with that generosity sh*t, sandwiched between a paean to Lewis Black, a deeply bitter and practically anthropomorphic comedian; and mention of "The Ice Harvest," a deeply bitter black comedy that flies in the face of the "Christmas spirit" she apparently inhaled around the Thanksgiving tofu balls? Well. I know what you're thinking. But I can't explain it.

*removes head from sand*

Erm. I hadn’t heard about this. It’s been going on for a week, and I didn’t see it here or here or here. And no one told me, and my francophilia is well-known. HelLO!! Ring ring! Pick up zee grande télèphone rouge des clues!

The only personal thing I can contribute on the subject is that people I spoke with when I was living in France in 1998 told me that there is no race problem in France. (You may well imagine they were contrasting France with the United States. And you'd be right.) In their defense, that was seven years ago (*cringes at own OLDness*) so maybe there wasn’t a problem then. But something was probably cooking then if it resulted in this sort of sustained violence. Interesting that here most suburbs in large metropolitan areas are by and large thought of as safe areas, while the reverse is true in France.

I will not be around for a while. I won’t actually be able to post, instead of my usual lack of posting because I am lazy and forgetful. In the meantime, I will divest myself of some intense aversion by putting you on notice that I strongly dislike Elvis Presley. So, if you were thinking of posting a comment about how much you love Elvis, you can secure that sh*t, Hudson. Here are a few reasons why I loathe Elvis Presley:

1. He is fecking annoying.
2. He never wrote one song, but nonetheless
3. Is worshiped like a demigod.
4. My ex-boyfriend loved him.
5. After his wife bore him a child, he didn’t find her sexually attractive.
6. I just. Don’t. Like him.

Please enjoy the second week of November to its fullest, dear reader.

i know this shouldn't be funny...

...but it is. From a spam email in my work account (italics are mine):

Looking for a perfect gift?

Why of course I am! Christmas is just around the corner!

Gift hard erection. gedanken

Love the German. That festive touch.

Really, who wouldn't want a gift hard erection for Christmas?

One of the things I love about my office are the big windows that look out at a large oak tree, and some houses and even the Cascade foothills. Today I saw a pretty birdy.

Speaking of birdies, I mistyped an employee's (Chris') name in an email, and used the right-click/AutoCorrect thing, but a mouse finger spasm meant I clicked the wrong word. So I ended up with Chirps Harris. (instead of Chris Harris.) Then I snickered to myself for like a FULL MINUTE until my coworker asked me what was up. When things strike me as funny, I can't hide it inside! (and squeak) [Squeak!] As the squeakelers do...

Enough! My work PRODUCTIVA* juggernaut cannot be stopped! I've reconciled the credit card bill and said "oh no you DIH-unt!" to Intuit's (the makers of QuickBo*ks') automatic billing scam, and now I'm off to clean some pesky programs off computer, clean some pesky feculence off my desk, and take a meeting regarding insurance issues!

*PRODUCTIVA means you are getting stuff DONE.