Fashion: infinity, Marmot: 1

Well, perhaps it's not that bad, but usually when I go shopping for clothes, I feel like fashion wins. Especially when I go alone. Often I am looking for a specific thing that seems simple, but no one has it. Which makes me feel like an eejit. And if I do find things to try on, I don't have any confidence in my decisions. I find something I like, but then I think, "Will I ever wear this? Can I pull it off? Do I really like the color green?" and I am filled with despair and fear, and I leave without buying anything. Or worse, I buy something and later have to take it back. Or don't take it back and it moulders in my closet for 1.5 years and then goes to the Goodwill. What frustrates me is I have such a hard time predicting as I'm shopping which clothes will become that 20% you wear 80% of the time. If I could somehow see the future and see how much I'd actually wear the piece of clothing, I could see whether it was a good value at the asking price. OR if I had a time machine and could go back in time and buy 2 more of my very favorite pieces of clothing.

So I got a little fold-out postcard from Lucy (www.lucy.com) with $25 a $100 purchase. Now their stuff is expensive. They have like $48 cotton T-shirts, for example (this in particular gives me the urge to emit a high-pitched screech while my eyes bug out of my head.) But it's all comfortable sporty stuff, which apart from jeans is all I really ever feel like wearing. There was a cute quilted vest that caught my eye in the postcard so I thought if I am a big enough sucker to buy this *$78* vest I will surely find something moderately priced on their sale rack to bump the price up over $100 and then I'll save some money. I even calculated before leaving for the mall that if the something on the sale rack was between $22 and $25, I would get the price of the vest down to $60.

First I went to QFC and got a 4-pack of Triple-Chocolate Dove ice cream bars, thinking that having (melting) frozen food with me would encourage me to be speedy with my shopping at Lucy. For the record, if you have my capacity for distraction and indecisiveness in retail establishments, this is not a good method.

So I got the quilted vest to try on in two colors. It was very cute. Then I went through the sale racks and found oodles of things to try on that I sort of liked. They were all between $20 and $30 dollars and none were must-haves so there was quite a herd of them to send to the dressing room. And then I took a pass through the other corner of the store before I headed to the dressing room, fingering materials as I went. And something felt familiar... it was THOSE PANTS.

I got a pair of pants at Lucy a year ago. I got them regular price so it was really exorbitant for me--more than I spend on a pair of jeans. But the fit was nice, and the material was just so yummy and soft so I bought them. This pair of pants quickly became my Favorite Pants (Non-Jean)TM. Since they are stretchy knit pants, they are of course much comfier than jeans. The material is amazing. It's very very soft inside and out, so I ALWAYS want to put them on, especially after a hot yoga class and a shower (apres-pant.) And if I get bored, I can pet my legs. (oh so soft!) They have a roll-top waist (which I love--hugs so snug without creating a belly pooch.) The cut is fitted in the waist and hips but roomy in the legs, so it's not so tight in the legs as to make you feel conspicuously outlined or like you shouldn't be wearing them if you aren't exercising. The material isn't too thick, so it doesn't get bunchy UP THERE, but thick enough so panty line is indetectable with most types of underwear.

So I splurged and bought two pairs. They were regular price, but as much as I wear these pants, it's MERE PENNIES, I tell you. ;) I'd send you the link from the Lucy website, but apparently I'm not the only freak in love with these pants--they must be sold out because they're not on their website anymore. They're called "Harmony Pant" if you want to go in the store.

good news!

I'm going to teach Monday nights, too! Starting this coming Monday! Studio owner just asked me Thursday. Two nights a week, hooray HOORAY!!

It's almost October. I love October out of all proportion, hence I often call it ROcKtober. I love Halloween, I love fall and wearing sweaters again and eating hot soup, and October has always seemed bright and crisp and full of possibilities. Long live ROcKtober!

MSH just had a golf lesson and his teacher was telling him to keep his knees bent in his swing so he showed her Awkward pose. She recommended he do it as much as possible! I wish I could have recorded him last Sunday at the party--he'd just met our friend C's brother (who is a sweet, peaceful man who teaches special education, radiates compassion and acceptance and looks like JUDE LAW, just so you know these men exist but this one has a girlfriend and lives in Vancouver) and was telling him about how great yoga is. E.g. how much it's improved his golf game and how "if you could do only one form of exercise it would be yoga." I felt so proud, grateful, and supported by my mate. But you know--it ain't me--it's the yoga! Still.

In the past week I've run nine miles and gone to three yoga classes, all Power Vinyasa. I am hungry ALL THE TIME. Well, except for last night at Red Robin just after I ate a side salad, half an order of mozzarella sticks, one third of a plate of pasta, and half an Oreo shake. But that was the first time all week. Yesterday right after lunch, for example, I was hungry again!

Long post!

Ack, sorry to neglect you, my internets.

So! Here are some things that have happened:

1. I got (after a lot of ins, outs, and what-have-yous) a weekly teaching job at "my" beloved studio.

It is at 8:15 PM-9:30 PM, Wednesday nights (that's today!) It's a time that hasn't been on her schedule for a while, but people have asked for it specifically. The first time I taught was last week. My husband and my friend showed up and that was it! Which was actually VERY OK, since I was coming down with a bad cold and appreciated not having to PROJECT my voice further than two people. Also had a chance to work out the timing--it's fifteen minutes shorter than a normal class BUT I get to teach Barkan.

2. I figured out that I was NOT looking for yoga teaching jobs in my spare time, so I've ratcheted back my schedule at the Office to 30 hours per week.

This has been very good so far (I'm mid-way the second week of this schedule,) although I would not say the amount of progress I've made on finding yoga work has been stunning. I do enjoy running in the middle of the day, and going to lunch downtown with my husband, etc.

3. I have definitely identified that my old insecure, self-defeating, hesitant, perfectionist HORSE PUCKEY has once again taken up residence in my mind.

After the brief brilliant space of self-confidence during and just after training wherein I was very confident in myself, and the fact that cultivating my intention for teaching would cause everything else to happen just as it should. Everything to do with finding yoga work, with that strong and positive intention, seemed so easy and Not Like Work. Well, not anymore. I'm back at the same job, in the same house, and guess what? Those bad mental habits are back, too. (Along with some new letdown/guilt that I allowed these demons back home to roost--it's a regular self-defeating FIESTA!) Sometimes I think i should just quit at the Office but that would put them in a terrible bind besides which it could be a fantasy that having no regular job (read: structure) would compel me to flit around like a busy bee putting out my teacher energy in ways both physical and UNSEEN. I could also, you know, watch HBO six hours a day. That's what happened the last time I had no "job" whatsoever--except I didn't have cable TV, I was 22, in credit card debt, and didn't practice yoga or meditate regularly (NOTE: I still don't meditate daily or really more than twice a week but aspire to!) So I am looking into doing life coaching with a friend of mine who's starting a certification program in Life Coaching. She was the one who life-coached me into going to teacher training NOW THIS YEAR instead of "in 2007" or "when I've saved up the money." It was very effective, and that was only like half an hour. So I know she's money. For those of you who don't know what Life Coaching is, there's some info here: http://www.findyourcoach.com (please note I picked a webpage at random from a "what is life coaching" Google search, and for reasons unknown Blogger said my tag was broken so it wouldn't let me put the link in nice neat HTML, sorry!), but my definition is: someone who gets you unstuck. If you want to do something, e.g. change your life/career, or accomplish some big goal, and you don't know what it is, or if you do, but you don't know how to get there, or you lack the motivation or something's holding you back, the life coach helps you get there.

4. I have decided to run a marathon in my aunt's memory.

In the past I have called crazy such individuals as would attempt this--as you know, it's named for a town in Greece, Marathon, from which a man ran 26.2 miles to Athens. When he got there, he delivered his message (victory in battle) and keeled over dead. Now I will do it. Hmm. But I know I can--I used to run a lot (before this Year of Yoga) and by a lot maybe 12 miles a week? OK, that's not a lot. But it has to be something that's a challenge. Something that will take work, dedication, commitment. My aunt was no stranger to these four things. It has to be something that there is some doubt as to whether I can accomplish it--nobody thought she would live four years with a GM (virulent form of brain cancer she had) diagnosis. I know I can do it because I will be taking hot yoga classes at least three times a week while I'm training, and it will keep my body injury-free and feeling good. Now through the end of the year I will be building up a base of 20-25 miles per week with at least one run of 6 miles or more each week. Then in January starts the 18-week program. It's the same one my friend used last year when she ran her first marathon. My friends and my husband have been 100% supportive. And the last reason I know I can do it: from the first time I put the intention into words, it's been real and definite. I've even picked out which one I'll run.

Love letter to my studio owner

I would not be a teacher right now if it were not for my studio owner. From the minute the idea of going to teacher training was out of my mouth, she has been supportive. She let me teach before I even went to training--twice. She has had me teach several times after I got back and encouraged me every step of the way, putting aside the differences between our training lineages and telling me to teach from my heart.

More importantly, she is so freaking inspiring! Her teaching is incredible--nuanced, never boring for a minute--she pushes us and nurtures us, always reminding us to look within for strength, and to have FUN with practice. She runs her business by gathering wonderful teachers and letting them teach from the heart. It is no wonder she is so successful! She's a huge role model for me, of course.

If you are ever in Seattle and want to check out what she and her crack team of yoga teachers are cooking, come on down!

Seane Corn

I just sent in my registration for a weekend workshop with Seane Corn at Yoga on Beacon here in Seattle. (Warning: Seane's website has music and other bells and whistles.) I am really excited about taking a workshop with this woman--we watched an interview with her off one of her Vinyasa DVDs at my teacher training. She's a friend of and inspiration to my teacher, JimBar. Just from seeing one clip, I fell in instantaneous severe like and wanted to learn from her as soon as possible. My roommate from FL is doing a teacher training with her back East before the workshop I'm taking. Yoga goodness abounds in Seattle!

In which the Marmot gets off her butt

It has recently come to our attention that besides internal & external belly-aching about the ratio of yoga work to office work, I haven't done very much about advancing my yoga teaching career. So, I am doing something about that.

I have sent in my registration to Yoga Alliance, signed up for a CPR course, ordered business cards, and created content for a marketing piece (paper) and a website which will go up soon. Once I have my CPR and finish my resume, I'll begin my onslaught of area gyms, and there's an interesting possibility I found on Craigslist (thanks, A1A!) for teaching in workplaces downtown. Craigslist? Jobs? WHO KNEW?! Many thanks to Alabam for her invaluable moral and opinionated support with the business cards!

In other news, the September teaching schedule for "my" studio has been published and I'm not on it. A bit disappointing based on the owner's previous statements, but I'm confident I'm high on the substitute list. ALSO after she specifically rejected the notion of ever having me teach a Barkan class there, she told me I can find a new time in the schedule and teach a WEEKLY BARKAN class, with the proviso that I'll be paid based on attendance, rather than a flat fee, until attendance goes and stays up. BONZER says I! I am so freaking excited about this. I have written and proposed a Sunday afternoon time; we'll see what she says.

Recent news about carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere (and by recent I mean oh the last 20 years) have this morning put me in mind of what I can do to address global warming. Here's a short list that does not involve marching on Washington.

I really gotta start walking to work.