Various Topics

Last night, two coworkers and I went to my yoga studio for some Bikram yoga. It was their idea--no persuading was done on my part. (But I did answer some questions beforehand.) They were frickin' studs their first time through the Bikram series and plan to go back to round out their $15 introductory week. They profess to it having been a good experience, so I am glad.

We then proceeded here for some delicious Ethiopian food. The two veggie combos we shared and one beer came to $23! Delicious and cheap, two words I love. We rounded out the evening with decadent chocolate desserts here.

I woke up before 5:30 today. I never really fell back asleep. Which means I probably kept MSH awake with my tossing and turning. Why didn't I just get out of bed? I could have meditated and started a load of laundry! I was awake! And I'm still quite perky! Even though I got to bed after 10:30! It must be spring! It was so light this morning! Bring it ON!!

Heard about this show? I'm not so sure I can take Bill Paxton as the big prize three women are willing to share. I'm not so sure I can take Chloe Sevigny period. But I'm curious to see what MacGyver is doing in the show.

Happy Thursday! It's Friday for me, we're off to Victoria tomorrow at sparrow's fart! Yippee!

It's sunny. Really!

Just took a walk around the block to soak up some more rays. I feel like someone took off the top of my head, let some fresh air circulate, sprayed in some happy juice, and replaced my lid.

And as I crossed the street back to the office, I was reminded, courtesy of these clear, 51-degree skies, of two big reasons Seattle is a great place to live. From the crosswalk, I looked to my left and saw these. And I looked 180 degrees to my right and saw these.

But for every other day this month, you might want to consult this article.

sun, poo-poo, bc, man fashion

So supposedly this is a really bad day, but it's hard to get in the spirit of that article when the predicted sun, which prediction I poo-pooed, ACTUALLY APPEARS. In spades. The sunlight is actually streaming in. I waited half an hour to close the shades so I could get some intense exposure. So far I've poo-pooed the Seahawks on Sunday (they won) and the sun for today (it arrived.) What shall I poo-poo next? There is NO WAY Congress will reject Samuel Alito. I CONFIDENTLY DISBELIEVE IT, universe.

So, with no three-day weekends in sight, we cleverly scheduled our own, this weekend, to Victoria. Here are some things MSH has asked me so far about Canada. Keep in mind I have never set foot in Canada and he has. (But I think mostly in the golf/strip club region.)

"Do they have theaters that show American movies?"
"Do they have American bookstores in Canada?" "Yes, but do they have books there in American?"

I think he's joking to get me riled.

Last night, as we dined at University Village, MSH said: "So, is there anyplace here that sells pants and stuff?" Um. Yes. He didn't know there was a GAP there. He went into the GAP and completed purchase of v. attractive straight-leg jeans in a medium-dark wash. My heart sings. He even bought a super cute button-down shirt, too, at my suggestion!! Now if I can sneak the old tapered-leg jeans into my garage sale...

When Seahawk Fans Attack...

Yesterday at 11 AM, there were three jerseyed Seahawk fans near my house--well, actually one was shirtless and wearing a Seahawk flag as a cape--in the road at NE 80th and 17th NE, waving their arms around and hooting and trying to get cars to honk. So I honk. Who am I not to honk? And this is in the middle of buttoned-down white-bread Wedgwood.

So, time passes, now the Seahawks are going to the Super Bowl, and at NE Campus and Montlake Blvd NE (across from UW Medical Center) at 12:15 PM, there is a toothless man in a black headband and an old-school Seahawks jersey, standing on a lane divider, jumping up and down and making honking hand-signals, waving his arms, shaking his head, grinning and laughing.

You ask me--were any of these people you saw DRUNK, Marmot? And I say: Astute reader, they VERY likely were.

OK, so I know this is the Super Bowl? So it's a big deal? But it's 13 days before the game. These people better pace themselves or they're going to be either tuckered out by game day or out of their frigging minds.

What Not To Do

Only eat 14 Hershey’s Kisses in the final quarter of the Seahawks’ NFC Championship game if you enjoy experiencing:

Headache
An odd sensation like you’re carrying three phonebooks on top of your head
Spacing out when your husband walks right by you into the basement, then freaking completely out when you hear a noise downstairs, thinking he’s still upstairs, and standing at the top of the stairs, quaking with anxiety, your finger poised over the 9 on your mobile phone keypad, contemplating barricading yourself in your bathroom
Not being able to fall asleep
Waking up to pee and not falling back asleep because your heart is racing
Puffy eyelids
Sugar hangover

That being said, the game was awesome. I was only going to watch the first few minutes. I knew I wouldn't be able to take it if it was a close game or the Seahawks got behind. But they never trailed. MSH and two friends and I sat very still watching the TV, only moving for the occasional fist-pump for an interception or a first down. The first two times MSH went to the bathroom, Shaun Alexander ran for over ten yards. (We tried to talk him into staying in the bathroom for the rest of the game, but he demurred.) We just sat in a daze as the clock ticked down and Seattle was up 20 points.

If other Seattleites are like me, they’re having a hard time believing that we are competing in the final game of a professional sport. I was afraid they were going to lose yesterday. I certainly didn’t expect them to stomp the competition completely. I don’t remember this sort of feeling since Portland was in the NBA Finals against Chicago in 1992. (I was a huge Trailblazer fan in Junior High. My rice baby for the health class project was named Clyde and wore a jersey. DO NOT let my mention of that championship, in which the northwest team was trounced, and Michael Jordan performed "The Shrug,*" jinx the Seahawks, please!) National sportscasters are going to be saying the word “Seattle” 800% more than usual over the next two weeks. And they’re going to have to give us props. Suck on that, Jimmy Johnson!

That being said, and as you can tell, I like football as much as the next person, these seventeen words neatly sum up what is wrong with America, in my humble opinion:

More Americans watched the Super Bowl last February than bothered to vote in the 2004 presidential election.

Go Seahawks!!!!

*See item 35.

swoss

My friend Alabam's friend (we'll call him Georg) recently found a chicken wandering in his neighborhood. She (Alabam) relates this story about the chicken:

He put the chicken in his backyard. Then he let it go. It circled the house for a bit, crying loudly. He opened the door to paint the molding around the door and the chicken came up the stairs and right inside. Georg then rescued a take-out salad someone had spilled in the street and let the chicken feast on that in the kitchen. Stray chicken enjoyed stray salad. Then the chicken roamed the house, stepping in the paint tray and leaving chicken prints on the drop cloth. Georg wiped his feet. And bought a cage for her.

A day or so later, the chicken laid an egg AND GEORGE COOKED AND ATE IT!!! I know intellectually chickens lay eggs, but this guy had a very close-up view of the process that produced the actual egg he ate. This blows my mind, because I am a child of suburbia and Food Comes From A Store.

Then the chicken didn't lay any more eggs. Georg found some friends who already have a coop of chickens, and they adopted Georg's chickens. Alabam says she hopes the coop gang is nice to the new chicken.

Coincidentally, I recently had a dream I was back at college, except college was on both banks of the Willamette River just south of downtown Portland, and Georg was a Buddhist monk who instead of resembling himself, resembled a guy from my dharma center. I know it was him, though, because the college had taken a still from the video surveillance cameras which they'd surreptitiously planted all around campus, and taken a photo of this monk on a bicycle, carrying a bamboo mat behind him, because that's what the Buddhist monks at college DO, don't you know, and captioned the photo: "[Georg's last name,] [Georg's first name.]" The dream centered around the theft of certain items from an on-campus juice and smoothie bar. The thief was eventually identified as a woman named "Jenny Miller," played by a girl who was a class behind me in high school, the thought of whom has not crossed my mind in ten and a half years. I do not know her real name. The panel of college administrators investigating the case included Sylvester Stallone.

On Tuesday, I drove a dharma friend (female) home from the dharma center.

HER: So, do you have a dog?
ME: No.
HER: Do you have any cats?
ME: No, I don't.
HER: Do you have any other pets?
ME: ... No.
HER: .......

Reason #4,567 why my sister kicks ase: Excerpts from recent email:
"OHMIGOD, what are they doing outside my apartment, testing the world's first hovercar? BIG annoying humming whooshing noise."

"There are a FEW things that can get messed up twixt Mac and Win
Word, just as there are twixt two versions of Word for the same OS. But
you probably won't come up against them unless you're doing mondo-picky
layout for colorful brochures for Asia-Pacific sales meeting attendees
and transferring back and forth between the two (WHICH I do not
recommend.) They don't always have all the same fonts, either. That's
about the size of it. "

Um.

Non-explosive device? I have a few on my desk. My stapler. My phone. My maidenhair fern. My computer monitor...

what's that strange light in the sky?

It's sunny today! It's sunny today! I took a walk around the block at around 10 AM, and later just stood outside in it for a while. Love these big windows in the office that let in the light! As a result, I'm not nearly so frazzled about "Gigantic Payroll Screwup 2: Screw Up Harder!"

With all these work problems, I am really trying to think in the way recommended by Geshe Zopa Rinpoche: (I'm paraphrasing) Problems are an opportunity to practice the dharma so "you should like problems the way you like ice cream." It's pretty hard to do that. But I'm trying. It also helps to remember all the good fortune I am currently experiencing in many other parts of my life. At least I can get up and leave the office and leave this particular problem behind me. Maybe I'll do so right now. Word is there's a new couch at home for me to sit upon.

And now...

...for the bad news.

TGIF! Even if it's the 13th

The rest of the week has been pretty stressful. More for my coworker than for me. She's a single mom and had two sick kids, so she couldn't come to work most of the week, then yesterday she had surgery to remove a basal cell skin cancer, which turned out to be much more extensive than anticipated so she's in a lot of pain and discomfort. Then her son did something to his toe lastnight, just walking across the floor. She's afraid it's broken. So I certainly hope nothing happens to her today!

Was just at the Old Navy website. My bad, I know. But did they take my brash declarations about spring a little seriously? On the Women’s front page: “SWIM IS IN! The season’s splashiest styles are here!!! Shop now.” Um. Unless you’re in Australia, South Africa, or Bermuda, swim is not in. In January. Seriously. Wow.

Here’s a note our contractor left us with a bunch of painter’s tape over the upstairs bathroom sink:

“Kids—

This sink has pulled loose from the wall and it will leak. I will fix it tomorrow.

J”

I love that he calls us kids! He kicks ass and takes names. This week he’s dealt with the downspout drainage (dug a trench and buried a pipe pointing out at the street,) dug a deeper window well for the basement window, and built an AWESOME bank of cupboards in the upstairs bathroom, the bottom of which will be the top of the laundry chute. Where before was only a walled-in, useless, not-in-use oil furnace chimney. Oh, and he helped me carry my blankety-blank computer down to my car so I could return it. (I’m not ready to talk about THAT yet. I’ll be over here with paper, pen, and abacus.)

More good news!

Three things the Marmot thinks are totally and completely stupid and hence, should never have been born:

1. Casinos
2. Motorcycles
3. Cyanide process gold mining
   

Three things that make the Marmot very happy:

1. Spontaneous rendezvous with friends
2. Thinking that you have eaten all the squares of chocolate an hour ago BUT NO! There is one more square hiding in the wrapper!
3. Fridays (Holy aged gouda, is it Friday YET?!)
   

It was a dark and stormy night...and a dark and stormy morning...and a dark and stormy afternoon....

Well, it would seem we are in the depths of winter. Or the depths of a garden where the gardener left the sprinkler on and went to a party. 23rd straight day of (at least some measurable) rain. Lastnight the rainclouds were so dark and close it seemed like the sun went down at 3:00. But I have good news! Last weekend I saw the following:

• A cherry tree with buds
• A cherry tree with blossoms

So take that, Old Man Winter! Sassy spring is already flirting.

So...computer. Palm does not support Windows XP Media Center. Therefore the Marmot does not support Windows XP Media Center. So I may have to send that computer packing back to Texas. Sometimes it can be a fraught proposition to just expect things to work. This is totally a scheme to get me to buy a handheld with a Microsoft OS. Em, no farking way!

[cell phone rings]

COWORKER: Hello?

PHONE: xxxxxxxxx

COWORKER: Um. Is your foot on the brake?

This'n'That

So the new store going in at the U-Pillage is SonyStyle. I’m not sure what they’re going to sell there besides Discmen (Discmans?) and maybe mp3 players. Sony made a Palm OS handheld a few years ago. Now they don’t.

In related electronics news, here’s why you should never ever buy anything at Bes*Bu*. MSH and I went there last night to buy network cables aka Ethernet cables. Their selection was poor, and when we got to the checkout there were like 20 people in line and despite the several employees we’d seen hanging around the store shooting the bull with each other, only one checkstand was open. We left the cables there and went upstairs to Target. They were sold out, but their price on a 14’ network cable was $7.99, whereas the one at Bes*Bu* was $20!! I am never setting foot in that store again so help me retail god. (BB, not Target.) So we had no network cable, and we couldn’t find the right vacuum filter either. So we ended up with: Cold-Eez zinc lozenges. I told MSH: “We never should have left the house.”

So, I got my new computer! Just for me! (at home) It came so quickly!

BOSS: Do you like the way it looks?
ME: […pause…thinking…don’t care…] I don’t dislike it….

I was home at lunch today trying to set it up (after finally picking up a network cable) and learned the following: A network hub is not the same as a network router. The person on the phone at Comcast, where I was on hold for less than five minutes, explained this in language I can understand! Let’s see if I can explain it to you: A hub is stupid. A hub can only pass on information. So when two computers try to connect through the internet using a hub and only one IP address, it doesn’t work because the hub will only allow access for one computer. But a router is smarter, and says: “Aha! These [up to five] computers want to connect to the internet using the same IP address, and that is cool. I will spin a magic spell on the information going to and from these computers, to make it work.” And that is why I am going after work to:

1. The post office (damn you, 2 cent increase! Shoulda bought a bunch of two-centers off the internet a week ago!)
2. Office Depot to get a router
3. Home to make sweet, sweet virtual love to my new computer aka Geek Out, to the extent possible for some who just anthropomorphized a network router and had it talk about magic spells

A confession

In the past, I may have suggested to some of you that you try wearing thong underwear, to avoid VPL (visible panty line.) I deeply apologize for doing so. First of all, aside from a few people with certain proclivities, it is categorically uncomfortable to have material jammed in that particular crevice of the female bathing suit area. End of story. Also, VPL is just not a big deal. I recommend that instead of worrying about VPL, you spend more time thinking about any one of the following:

• Whether you have enough fruits and vegetables in your diet
• The rising temperatures in the Arctic
• Having comfortable jeans
• Brushing your teeth in circles instead of straight back and forth
• Whether Jessica Simpson really knocked boots with Johnny Knoxville (for some reason I want the answer to be yes!)
  

If others have a problem with your VPL, perhaps you might recommend they direct their eyes away from your behind. In the meantime, wear knickers that cover your entire keister in good health. I will be over here tossing my thong underwear in the trash as I come across it.

In other news, the Marmot’s sister is in town. The Marmot’s sister completely rules! Here are just a few reasons why:

• Is going to get an MFA in Creative Writing (is totally fabulous writer, knocking socks off the people left and right)
• Knows who she is and what she wants and apologizes never
• Scientifically decoded the ingredients and cooking method for her dinner last night at the delicious but somewhat overpriced Hi-Life
  
• Comes up to visit her sister on the train on two days notice
• Really knows where her towel is
  
• Says “beans” when she approves of something
• Is a tea scientist
• Knows more words in English except for 23 other people currently living, but they can’t play the oboe, don’t have her Personal Style or Zest, and can't rock the Isaac Mizrahi pumps!
• Has psychic sister mind-meld with the Marmot (useful when playing Pictionary)

you've got a friend

Hooray for the cat!